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| Now that you're married, prepare yourself for a wonderful journey of a lifetime. Here's some great advice on what to expect and what to do on the road in front of you. |
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Marriage is a lifelong journey of love, commitment and mutual respect for each other. Just like life, it is never a bed of roses. Constant nurturing and effort must be taken by both partners in order to keep the flame of your marriage burning.
By taking the time to listen, to care and to appreciate your partner, marriage can be the sweetest, most blissful well of overflowing joy for you. So, pack some marriage tips in your haversack and travel on the road to a more fruitful marriage. |
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“They got married and lived happily ever after” – quite a common fairy tale ending. However, in real life you have to continually
work on your relationship to keep the magic alive. |
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| Just like a plant which grows from a seedling to a tree that bears fruit, a marriage, too, undergoes various stages. |
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Stage I : Romanticism
First is the romantic stage, where the couple is overwhelmed with each other. The saying ‘Love Is Blind’ explains your relationship and everything seems fine at this stage. |
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Stage II: Disillusionment
As the relationship grows, the romance slowly dims, and the marriage moves on to the next stage. That is the `disillusionment’ stage. |
| “Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you” - Helen Rowland. |
| As days go by, conflicts and tension will build up as both parties try to adjust to each other. The issue of raising children may also aggravate the situation. Care of the children will take up a considerable amount of the couple’s time, leaving them little time and energy for romance. |
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Stage III: Realism
Here, the couple learns to work out the daily frustrations and problems. The couple has to make every effort to open up their hearts and communicate their true feelings to each other. Couples should try not to be afraid to reveal themselves to each other as openness will enhance and strengthen their relationship.
By this time, respect for each other has been planted in each other’s minds and responsibilities sorted out. Parental roles are assumed with more confidence as the couple works towards a stronger relationship. |
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Stage IV: Bliss
Having gone through the difficult times together and worked their way out, a couple reaches the blissful stage and a blossoming of the relationship takes place. Changes are minimal at this stage, and even if there are any, the couple is able to deal with them. |
| Not every marriage undergoes all the four stages or follows the same path. A couple can prolong a particular stage, say the romantic stage, and avoid getting stuck at a particular stage, such as the disillusionment stage. This can be done by trying to improve and enhance your relationship. There are many ways to achieve this: |
Be Sensitive:
At some point in your relationship, you may begin to take your spouse for granted. From time to time,
make sure that you are sensitive to his or her needs and show concern, dedication and commitment to each other.
Share moments: Set aside time to go for quiet walks, take up a sport or cook a meal together. Do something that both
of you enjoy and helps you to relax. |
Show appreciation:
Do not wait for special occasions to give gifts to your spouse. Surprise your spouse by whispering sweet nothings into his or her ear. Communication is not only restricted to verbal communication. A hug can ease away
the stresses of the day and draw you both closer than you could imagine. |
Breathing Space:
Have a life of your own. It may seem selfish to leave your spouse alone while you have fun elsewhere, but time alone is essential to renew your mind, body and spirit. Pamper yourself with a long shower or have lunch alone
or with friends. Come home recharged and ready to rekindle your love. |
Open up:
Never be afraid to reveal how you really think and feel about each other, especially if they are positive feelings.
A word of caution - always think carefully before talking. Blunt words can hurt, but expressing yourself appropriately will bring you closer to your partner, opening yourselves up to stronger bonding. |
Argue right:
In the heat of an argument, try your best to maintain an open attitude and avoid blaming each other. Words can be hurtful, so always be sincere and try making only neutral statements if possible. No matter what is being said, be very careful with your choice of words. Resolve conflicts as quickly as possible. And once the argument is settled, never rake
up the past again. Make an effort to reach a compromise and avoid antagonising each other. |
Forgive & Forget:
Though this may not come easy, try your best to let bygones be bygones and not hold grudges against each other. Do not let feelings of anger or frustration linger. |
| “To keep your marriage brimming with love in the marriage cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it, whenever you’re right,
shut up.” – Ogden Nash. |
Go Dutch:
Sharing of household responsibilities in a marriage minimises conflict between the couple. List down your
priorities on what needs to be done in terms of importance. Determine who should do what based on who is available
for the job and has the necessary skills to do the job. Adopt a ‘give and take’ attitude when it comes to chores and your spouse will thank you for it.
It takes a long time to build a healthy and blossoming relationship and it certainly helps if you are able to look on the brigh
t side and continue working on improving it. As Martin Luther once remarked, “There is no more lovely, friendly and
charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” Let that be the goal of all marriages! |
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